I had an interesting encounter at work. My cubicle is in the back and pretty obscure from the view of my co-workers. So, at times, after I take my morning meds I leave the pill bottle out on my desk.I just started this job not too long ago, so I haven’t officially disclosed that I have lupus.

I feel like I have to prove myself as an employee first. You know, show them that I can meet the challenge of the job without sizing me up against my lupus. I know it’s my insecurity speaking because they seem like cool people to work with.

Well, my secret may not be much of a secret any longer. My pill bottle was on my desk and my co-worker startled me.
She sees the bright orange pill bottle for my prednisone and says…”you’re sick? What’s wrong with you?”
I told her casually that my prednisone pills were for muscle soreness….which wasn’t all a lie, lol. I’m not sure she bought it, but I think I bought some time.

I’m not sure folks without a chronic illness can understand how serious it is to keep some semblance of normalcy. Where you can just walk into an office and be a clean slate every day. I felt that she was genuinely concerned, but I can’t help but laugh as I type this because I’m thinking of how a good college friend who ironically has lupus would’ve handled this.

Admittedly, and I can say this to her face, she’s a bit more… shall I say hostile and put off when strangers even hint at her discoid lupus, when lupus effects the skin. I recognize we all deal with it differently. But I wasn’t trying to show my behind at work, so I played it off.

Sooner or later, I’d like to put the truth out there. Case in point, I have a nephrologist (kidney doctor) appointment Friday. My boss knows I have a “doctor’s appointment,” but nothing else. What happens if I need to see another “doctor” in two weeks for a follow-up or if I have to get blood drawn here, or pee in a cup across town.

The old “going to the doctor” bit will get pretty tired. Or, God forbid I have a medical emergency. Yikes. I guess I’ll have to be really cognizant of how far apart to space my appointments. And until I feel the need to disclose my health, I’ll be the undercover pill popper.

How did you handle sharing that you had lupus with people at work? And if you haven’t shared it yet, what’s holding you back?